Four Reminders To Life’s Disappointments

“I must be a failure” is a statement that becomes an absolute in the mind of the one making it. It is a conclusion based upon meanings associated with a given experience that one have had. The question is how true is that statement. To the person who have made it, it’s very true. Below I will outline four reminders to hold onto when you are experiencing life’s disappointments.

I can understand someone saying they “feel like a failure” and moving it from one of emotion to one of fact simply because that is the way they feel. Does it mean that because it feels that way it’s that way?

The conclusion you make is based almost entirely on feelings. Feelings is not a good indicator of the reality of what is happening. Here is where we must challenge the feelings by looking at the facts. The question “What are the facts?” is one way to challenge these feelings. There has to be a ruthless challenge to the current feelings. It cannot allow to get away without being challenged in this manner.

These feelings if allowed to mature could lead to disillusionment, depression, and ultimatey suicide. As a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, I have counseled with a number of individuals who find themselves dealing with the above disorders simply because the feelings moved from an emotion to a fact.

This is what happened to Ahithophel.

When Ahithophel realized that his advice had not been followed, he saddled his donkey, went to his hometown, set his affairs in order, and hanged himself. He died there and was buried in the family tomb. (2 Samuel 17:23 NLT)

That is how much he [Ahithophel] had chosen to believe such a lie that he had failed. His identity was in what he did – give advice. He felt he could not go on or recover from this one incident … he was a big failure. He simply believed a lie, which became his truth. This led to his death. It didn’t have to end that way if he had taken the four reminders below to heart.

Here are four reminders to life’s disappointments:

1. Things may not always go your way, its a part of life
2. You are not a failure when this happens
3. The problem may be with others and not you
4. It’s all about perspective …the way you choose to look at things

“I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.”  ~  Chuck Swindoll. 

Your Perspective Could Prove Deadly.

Having read the above, you may have another reminder, question or other comment that you could share with us. Comment in the box below. We would love to hear it. Take the time to do it now.