CYBLN 005: Save Your Relationship With These 6 Steps [PODCAST]

July 11, 2013

Podcast

Summary:

We are all in relationships of one kind or another. Most of the times we are in multiple relationships (family, marriage, friendship, work, recreational, etc). Because of the rhythm that takes place within these relationships, problems (conflicts) is inevitable. When this happens, the following six steps can make a difference.

  1. Recognizing the problemchoose square 300x300
  2. Engaging in productive conflict resolution
  3. Posing possible solutions
  4. Affirming each other
  5. Integrating solutions found
  6. Taking risks

Conflict:

The most important feature of conflict is that it is based on interaction (interactive – never wholly under one person’s control). People in conflict perceive that they have incompatible goals or interest and that others are a source of interference in achieving their goals

Productive conflict: belief that all faction can attain important goals; feeling that all have gained something in the end

Communication Spirals:

Change is impossible so long as things continue as they have. At least one party has to “do what comes unnaturally”. All spirals (negative or positive) tend to pick up a momentum that feeds back on itself – closeness and harmony build more closeness and harmony; misunderstanding and dissatisfaction create more of the same.

CHANGE THE PATTERN AND YOU CHANGE THE SPIRAL

    1. Do what comes unnaturally
    2. Use of third parties
    3. Reaffirm your commitment
    4. Talk about how you are communicating
    5. Spend more or less time with the person

Resolving the Issue:

What drives relationships into the ground is built piece by piece, smallness fitted to smallness, selfishness answered with selfishness. Learn to treat every issue as an impersonal and neutral enemy and to close ranks against it.

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YOUR FEEDBACK

If you have an idea for a podcast you would like to hear or a question about an upcoming episode, e-mail me.

Also, would you please Rate This Podcast On iTunes and leave a brief review by clicking on view in iTunes and then click the review tab. That would help tremendously in getting the word out! Thanks.

Which of these regrets will be yours if you continue the way things are and how will you change it? Comment below.

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About Kingsley Grant

I am a published author, motivational speaker, father of two, husband of one, licensed psychotherapist, certified midlife transitional coach, follower of Christ and President of Helping Families Improve, Inc.

View all posts by Kingsley Grant

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