(Pt.1) 5-Simple Steps Men In Midlife Can Take In Moving Towards Their Dream

Most men in midlife feel stuck because they don’t know where to begin doing something that would not feel like a complete startover. To reduce those feelings it’s important to consider these 5-Simple Steps.

Step 1: Identify What Is Knocking Down The Door Inside You Wanting To Be Released

You might currently be doing something that you have little or no desire to do but because of economics and other benefits, you do it. However, deep inside you is that thing that keeps knocking on the door of your heart. It wants out. You know it. You feel it. It distresses you because of how bad it wants out but you, others and circumstances, keeps it in. What if you were to find a small outlet for it?

I wanted to write a book but I couldn’t find the time … I thought. I would find every excuse not to write but when I didn’t that writing ogre in me, kept knocking on the door. At times I felt depressed because of the pressure it built up within me. Even though I really liked what I was doing at the time, this “thing” kept on knocking. Eventually I decided to write parts of it whenever I could. I actually made the time.

It’s amazing that once I began, the pressure within, slowly diminished. It never totally subsided, which may have been a good thing; it served as my reminder. I eventually finished writing the book entitled, “This Was Not Supposed To Happen.” It’s available on Amazon.com.

Was it my best writing? No. As a matter of fact, I’ve made several attempts to republish it, but it never materialized. I finally decided to leave it as is because it reflected my start. I know that I could only get better with time. The point is, I got it out.

So, like me, you too need to identify what it is that is knocking on your door wanting to be set free. Here is the key: You don’t have to stop what you’re currently doing to make this small step. I didn’t, but it felt good.

Step 2: Talk To Trusted Family And Friends About That Ogre Within

This step seems like it should be first but here’s my rationale for not having it first. What if you talk to friends and family about it and they’re not supportive or even make you feel like you are not able to do it? What do you think would happen then? If you said feelings of discouragement, you’re wrong. It would be worse. You’d be crushed. That ogre would only knock louder because it senses a life sentence coming its way. It would more than likely be locked up forever.

Therefore, it this step comes after you have written, they could be a place where you could get some honest feedback. It’s already done, so now it’s about grammatical errors and possible sentence construct. 

I did that with my own family. I asked them to read it and give me their honest feedback. At first, their feedback felt like criticism and it stung a little. However, I had to work through that. I didn’t prepare myself as I should have to expect this kind of feedback. To be honest, I was hoping that they would all say, “Great job … this is a New York Times Best Seller.” That wasn’t the case on either counts. I am more prepared these days.

I could now say that I was an author. I was able to get soft cover versions in my hands and since then have sold a few copies.

Step 3: Be Patient With Yourself And The Process

This is a very important step. It might be the most important of them all. Why? You are going to feel like you are not making much headway. This can be discouraging to say the least.

Here is a term that I learned from within a mastermind group that I’m a part of: Progress not perfection. This phrase really helped me. I realize that it’s not about getting it perfect the first time. As a matter of fact you don’t want to get it perfect the first time. If you did, then what? Could you make it more perfect? Obviously not. So taking small steps along the way – having small goals – is the way to go.

I recently started trying to drink more water each day than I’ve ever done. So, I have made small steps along the way. My goal each day is to drink eight 8-ounce glasses before 5 p.m each day. As you may realize, I’m using the SMART goal formula of which I did on podcast on before. You can listen to it by clicking here.

Now, what if I don’t drink eight of those 8-ounce glasses before the end of the day, would that be a failure? Of course not. Remember my goal is to drink more water than I have ever done on a daily basis. What was my previous amount? Maybe a glass or two if I’m lucky. So, if I only drank four 8-ounce glasses of water, I’ve succeeded.

Being patient with yourself and give yourself room to not getting it perfect, is very helpful in this process. 

Summary:

These first three of the 5-Simple Steps might not be towards writing a book as it was for me in this case, but it could very well be any other project you have inside you. In what way could you apply these steps? 

I would love to hear from you as to what it is you are doing and how these steps might be helpful. If you need some help in figuring a way to apply these steps, please contact me for a FREE one-time 30-minute Coaching session. I would love to help you figure this out.

Leave me a comment below as to which of the steps you find more meaningful and why. Thanks.